Day 111

So this week has been a wonderful week. I went in on Tuesday to weigh in and I FINALLY hit the 40 lb. board. It seems like this was the hardest 10 lbs to get through so far. The choices I was making were not always good ones, but most of the time I wasn't feeling guilty about making them either. I'm getting to the point that as long as for the most part I follow the plan, I need to be allowed little indulgences of something different.

My friend Patty who has attained her goal, and has set another one while she's in the next stage of this plan made a good point the other day when I was beating up on myself thinking I could have had another 10 lbs off this body at this point if I hadn't made some of the choices that I had. She said that we are still losing weight because even when we make a choice that's not on plan, we aren't eating the same way we used too. That was a really good thing to read/hear. It's true, I'm not eating all the yucky foods that are bad for me like I used to. I'm not eating the portion sizes that I used to. So it's ok if I choose to make a different food choice because I want to have that taste.

Last weekend I thought was bad until I really took a step back and looked at it, then it didn't seem so bad to me anymore. We went to Sioux Falls for the weekend to meet up with Danielle and a friend for some shopping. We were also hoping to meet up with Dustin and have supper with him at a minimum, but hopefully get to spend a day hanging out with him. Sadly, that didn't happen, but that's ok. Anyway, I was following the plan and then Saturday night I really wanted the chocolate dessert that Jerry and the kids had ordered. I ate my meal and then Jerry had me hold his for some reason (we ordered Applebee's to go and brought it back to the hotel room because the babies that were with us hadn't napped and we thought it would be wiser to stay in). So I'm holding his meal and I think it would really be nice to taste it. He had chicken fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. So I had a bite or two. Then he decides to eat his dessert and I had a bite of that. Ok not so bad.

The next day before we left to come back home we went to Chili's for lunch. Then I decided there wasn't anything on plan that I wanted, but I really wanted the deep fried chicken breast that was dipped in wing sauce and served with ranch dressing as a sandwich. I did order a salad, didn't realize it had carrots on it. Since carrots aren't on the plan, I try to make sure that I don't have them in the salads at restaurants. I only asked for them to remove the croutons. That didn't happen either so Jimmy and I made a pile of croutons on the table. LOL! Jessica asked about the carrots, and I said there aren't that many so it'll be fine. Jess had ordered a soup and salad that came with unlimited tortilla chips and salsa. So I ate a couple of chips. I had wanted another chocolate dessert. Thankfully after eating the sandwich and a couple of french fries along with the salad and other items, I was full so I didn't order the dessert. Jessica was full too. Jimmy however could eat until the cows come home so he didn't understand why we wouldn't order the dessert.

I went in on Tuesday after all these little "cheats" and weighed in. I wasn't sure what to expect because I've been staying off my scale at home lately and hadn't weighed in for a week. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I'd lost 3 lbs., hit the 40 lb. board and passed it by another 1 lb. I was so excited. I even thought wow, I only have 9 more lbs and I'll have lost 50 lbs. I'm really hoping that I can attain that in the next 2 weeks, before we go to Pierre for Mackennzie's 1st birthday. Why? I'm not really sure except that to me it's a milestone. So I go through the rest of the week doing pretty good. I even made brownies with peanut butter chips in them for a dinner with our home group on Wednesday. I got through the dinner not eating anything that wasn't on the plan. But, low and behold on Thursday as I'm making dinner for everyone, I look at the leftover brownies and think, yummy! I really want one. So Jess moves them and says you can't have those. I said, I'm not eating them and I need to learn to make the choice on my own. So we eat dinner and afterwards, I'm still wanting a brownie. So I had a small one. It tasted so good!! Jerry laughed, but I was thinking it's not going to harm me.

Friday night we decided to go and have dinner at Beacon Hills while the kids were at youth group. We haven't been there in a long time. It was great to see that I could follow the plan with their menu. Then Jerry said, sometimes I don't like your diet. I said why? He wanted mozzerella cheesesticks. So I said order them. I might have one or two, and it's going to be fine. So he ordered them and I had 3. Then I had to move the plate closer to him and farther from me because he had only eaten one since the waitress brought his salad not too long after she brought out the appetizer. We get through that part of supper and I had seen a yummy chocolate dessert come out and I said, I really want some more of that. Jerry's laughing because I usually only want chocolate at a certain time of the month and that was last weekend which was understandable to wanting what he had gotten from Applebee's and planning on the chocolate dessert at Chili's. I had even been eating my chocolate supplements from Metabolic, to try and take the craving away. Jerry figures I didn't get enough chocolate in the system to get rid of it and that's why I was still craving it. So we ordered this ooohhhh, so yummy chocolate cake that had chocolate syrup and caramel drizzled on top of whipped cream and there were toffee chips on it. OMG, I was in heaven eating it!! Jerry laughed and said if he wouldn't have moved the plate and put it under another one, we both would have been fighting over who was going to lick it clean. LOL!! It was that good. Now I'm praying and asking God to help me with this so that I can stick to the plan and not keep eating chocolate every day.

I know it's been God's strength that has gotten me this far and when I forget to pray and praise him for getting me through each day, it seems to be a bigger struggle to keep the focus where it needs to be. He is my strength and whom I need to completely rely on to make this body the temple he intended it to be. To Him I'm grateful for being allowed the finances to be able to make the changes that I've needed to make in order to be a better wife, mom, friend, co-worker, etc....

As far as the rest of my life, it seems to be the same thing, when I'm not focusing on God and asking him to get us through, we struggle even more. So we have been trying to make sure that when going down the path of distruction that we stop that and start praying. It seems to make life so much simpler than continuing down the path of misery.

We are 2 weeks away from Mackennzie's birthday, so hopefully I'll post more before then, but definitely will post after we get back. It will be a great weekend, and hopefully we'll have some good pictures to post too.

Oh yeah and I found a swimming suit last night that is 2 sizes smaller than I used to wear! While it's still a plus size, it's so wonderful to know that I'm getting smaller. It's a little snug, but I think it will fit perfectly after I hit the 50 lb. mark. I also figure it's not going to fit at all and I'll need a smaller one after I hit the 75 lb. mark. But it'll at least get me through a few trips to the pool as we travel to South Dakota to visit the kids.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!!