Day 29

Wow, I can't believe that it's been over a week since I've blogged. I did weigh in 2 times last week but won't weigh in again until tomorrow because I'm in Pierre right now spending time with our daughter Danielle, her fiance Ross and our precious granddaughter Mackennzie since Saturday. It's been a wonderful time and is totally amazing at how much support I have with every family member.

I weighed in last Monday and had lost a 1/2 lb. since the previous Thursday. I figured I was back in a plateau, but the consultant who weighed me said, you've had some great weight loss, you are doing just fine. So it was an ok weigh in.

Wednesday was Christmas Eve and the struggle that night was Jerry's homemade baked potato soup. It smelled so good! Both Jessica and Jerry stood in front of the soup that night and said you aren't going to taste this soup! You are doing too good to give up 3 days of weight loss just for this soup. It's great to see that my family is so good at helping me stay on track when the struggles come. Christmas day wasn't as hard. We had my sister's Sarah and Angie out for Christmas Eve and they spent the night with their children for Christmas morning! It was so much fun to have Santa visiting the house for a 3 and 6 year old. Their eyes are so full of wonder and amazement as they got up and saw the tree. Christmas day we just stayed home and didn't make anything special.

The day after Christmas I went in to weigh in before going to the Pinkman family Christmas celebration. This is where I was hoping the scale would say that I've dropped another 6 lbs because I wanted to be at 20 lbs. of weight loss by Christmas. No such luck, I only had another 1/2 lb. of loss, but hey that's better than a 1/2 lb. gained. So then we went to Jerry's brother's house and had Christmas with his family. The support there was wonderful also. My sister-in-laws were asking questions about what I could and couldn't eat, how my diet worked and how much loss I've had so far. They were wonderful when I said I had only lost a 1/2 lb. since Monday reminding me that the slow loss, stays off better than the quick loss.

After our Christmas celebration we had to go home and pack for Pierre. We got a motel room that had a microwave and fridge in the room so that I could bring all of my food already pre-cut and bagged so that I can just put my meals together. The bad thing about it is that to make it easy I just made a bunch of the same thing, so I'm basically eating the same meal for lunch and supper for 3 days. I'm getting a bit tired of it at this point, but it's only another day and then we'll be going home. We are planning on stopping in Sioux Falls on our way home at a restaurant that is on my list of places I can eat and I'll get something different then.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in to see what I've dropped. I'm hoping that there will be a few pounds dropped. I'm also going to be at a month of this change, so I'll get measured and it'll be interesting to see where this weight loss is coming from.

I hope that all of you had a very wonderful Christmas and that your New Year celebrations will be fun and safe! I'll probably blog again before then though!!

Day 18

Well it's day 18 and I haven't blogged in a week. It's such a busy time of year so I didn't have the chance to blog on Monday after my weigh in. On top of having 2 weigh in's this week, we've had Christmas concerts and our final home study for foster care. This morning we even got our first call for a placement. We had to say no because it was for four girls ranging in age from 4 to 15. First we don't have room for any more than 2 and second we aren't taking any children that are older than Jimmy but mostly not over the age of 7. The caseworker was ok with our 'no', but just thought she would see if we were interested.

Monday I went in for the emotions class and then had my weigh in. It was interesting listening to the other women in the class talking about the weakness of cheating. They kept saying how getting through the three days of not making any progress was no fun. Sadly, I found myself thinking, when do I want to cheat during our Christmas celebrations. I came home and shared that with Jerry and he started praying with me that the logic going through my head would flee. That's not what God would want for me to do. It's worked too, I haven't thought again about when and where I'd like to cheat at and lose three days of weight loss. After the class I had my weigh in with Robin the manager of the center. It was a great weigh in. I shared with her that I was grateful to know that she was a Christian and that she prayed for all the clients at her center. So after having a great discussion we went to the scale and I had lost 1 1/2 lbs. That was wonderful!!

Then I went back today and weighed in at lunch. Jerry went with me today because I took a 1/2 day off and we had things to do together. So he went to see what I go through. Got to watch the going through my food journal, taking my blood pressure and having any questions answered before going to the scale. I didn't have any questions today, but did admit to Karen the consultant how I was trying to figure out when I was going to cheat. She smiled when I said that Jerry helped me through it. Then we went to the scale and I was down another 2 lbs. So that's 3 1/2 lbs this week. I'm averaging 5 3/4 lbs. per week. I know I won't be at 25 lbs. next Friday, I'm pretty sure I could be to 20 lbs. lost by then. Since Christmas is next Thursday, I've decided that I'm still going to weigh in on Monday, but my 2nd weigh in isn't going to be until Friday instead of going on Wednesday.

We are going to Pierre to visit Jerry's daughter, fiance and our granddaughter the following Saturday and won't be coming back until Tuesday. So I'm hoping the following week will be a Tuesday and Friday weigh in.

If I don't blog again before next Friday, I wish all of you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!! May everyone reflect on the real reason we are celebrating the day and be grateful for all the time they get to spend with their family and friends.

Day 12

Well it's day 12 and another day to go for a weigh in. Before I get to that, I'll go over how the week has gone. It's definitely been a better week than last week. I'm not as emotional and can even handle making some food items for the family while making my meals. I still pretty much refuse to do a whole lot because of how much I like food. My family doesn't really like anything that I don't like.

I was extremely excited after my weigh in Monday and started to take the consultant seriously about getting on my excercise equipment and working out. So Monday night I worked out for 20 minutes. I figured that was a good start, 20 minutes on the elliptical every night and building up to 30 minutes because Metabolic suggests not going over 30 minutes due to the calorie and liquid intake they have everyone on. Well Tuesday night we had our home study and I was planning on working out after the lady who completed it left, but I started feeling yucky again, and realized that I definitely have the sinus infection everyone else has had. So I started back up the antibiotics the doctor called out and started on ny-quil that night. I was so congested and felt awful all night long. The next morning I knew there was no way I could get up and go to work. So I called in, got breakfast and went back to bed. I slept until 10:45. I was feeling a bit better, sat up in bed and watched a little tv, then got myself some lunch. I decided at that point that I was feeling better enough to go to work. So I got ready and went in. Today I was still slow moving but was able to get going this morning enough to get to work. We have audits coming up and I have a lot of work to get done before they happen in a little over a week. So I feel guilty being sick and not being at work for a day and a half in the last week.

So today after work I went over to Metabolic, got the same consultant, still don't know her name. So I've decided Monday if I have her again, I'll just need to ask her name. She took my blood pressure again after we talked about the fact that I've been sick since Tuesday. I asked if my starting to get sick could have elevated my blood pressure on Monday night. She said it could have, especially since tonight it was down to 120/80. Still not as low as I'm used to, but much better than Monday nights. We talked about the medicines that I've been taking and she prepared me for a possibility of no weight loss or a weight gain. My body is in survival mode right now trying to fight off the germs in my body, so she said weight loss is the last thing it's thinking about. The other thing she told me was that the antibiotic I'm on can cause water retention and the day-quil and ny-quil have sugars and alcohol in them that go against what I'm trying to accomplish.

So I'm prepared and go in to weigh and I was happily surprised to have lost a 1/2 lb. That puts my weight loss at 10 lbs. now . I told the consultants at the front when we went out for me to order some items that my goal was 25 lbs. by Christmas. I said it might be unrealistic, but that's what I'd like to see gone. Tiffany the other consultant said that if I started excercising the chances are very likely that I could lose close to that by then. So as soon as I start feeling better (and maybe even if I'm not totally better, I'll still start on Saturday) Tomorrow night we are going to the Point of Grace concert so I'll be hurrying home to eat supper and get back out the door with everyone to see the concert. So please be praying that I'll get better and will be motivated to get on my elliptical or my Wii fit in order to get my excercise going and make this weight loss drop even better.

Day 8

Today I went in for my weigh in. Surprisingly, I got the same consultant that I had last Thursday. My attitude was completely different today. So surprisingly I found her to be just wonderful, interesting how our attitudes can cause us to see people differently. I was very excited, my body seems to be more tolerant of the changes that have gone on. So after going through the normal questions she took my blood pressure. Oddly it's usually always quite low but tonight it was 140/84. The consultant was concerned but when I said it's not usually that high, she relaxed. Then she asked if I was ready for what I came in for and I said, "Yes, I've been excited all day, even though I had a bad Thursday."

So we went and I got on the scale and at the same time I was sharing with her how I had determined in my mind Saturday after church that I was going to cheat. We decided to go to the Hy-Vee salad bar. I'd been craving taco meat and I knew they had taco items on the salad bar. Well we got there and I searched for that taco meat, and God made sure that it was pulled from the bar before I got there. So I didn't end up cheating because that's all that I wanted to cheat with. I ended up eating my romaine lettuce and chicken breast along with the melba toast that I put in my purse for my bread selection.

The consultant started laughing and said, Well how would you feel if I told you that you lost 6 lbs? Holy cow! 6 lbs, in 4 days for a total of 9.5 lbs in 11 days. Sweet! I'm so excited about not cheating on the changes that I'm making. I'm hoping that this will continue, because as unrealistic as this might sound I'd like to have 25 lbs. lost by Christmas.

I get home and talk to the kids over supper about my weight loss and Jessica asks if I'm going to get upset the next time I reach a plateau? I said, I don't think so. I think now that I've gone through this time and seen that after the plateau is weight loss, I'll be able to handle the next one better.

God is the one who is totally getting me through this. I've prayed for his strength to help me with the weight loss and He has given it to me. He has removed the temptations that I've known would be in the way. He reminds me of the phrase "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." So that I can say that over and over again when I think it's a struggle to watch what my family is eating around me while I either am eating something completely different or can't eat anything at all. It's hard to be disciplined to not snack or eat at any time that I want. I have to be disciplined to stay on schedule for eating so I can keep my metabolism going.

Thanks to all of you who have left me notes encouraging me on this path I've started down. It's been great to know how many friends and family I have that are rooting me on to success!! I'll post again on Thursday or Friday after I weigh in on Thursday night.

Day 5

I was supposed to blog last night but was too upset to do so. I was so excited to go in and have my weigh in yesterday. No matter how hard this change has been (and I know it's only been 4 days, but it's still been hard), I've followed it religiously. I didn't realize how hard the temptation of cookies that I normally don't even eat when we have them at work for social security day would be. Anyway, I got to Metabolic and went back with a consultant who didn't even give me her name, and she asked how things were going. So I was explaining how it seemed like things were extremely hard. Instead of talking to me and trying to help, I felt like she was talking down to me. Are you measuring your food before you eat it? Are you measuring before or after it's cooked? It wasn't the questions that were being asked, because I can understand asking them, it was the tone that was given in the questions being asked.

Ok, so maybe I'm just a little more sensitive this week as my body is trying to regulate itself. That is the one thing the consultant did say that was helpful. My body is trying to regulate my blood sugars and that can take awhile. She also said, and I totally get that I'm making a lifestyle change that while I've had these eating habits pretty much all my life, it's going to take more than 4 days to change them.

Then came the time, that I was the most excited for. Getting on the scale...... I should have known it wasn't going to be a good thing when she was very quiet and then looked at me sadly and said, you gained 3 lbs. WHAT?? Then the consultant reminds me about the one article I was given on weight loss last Friday about plateaus. I'm in a plateau. She said with the quick drop of the first 6 1/2 lbs., it was bound to happen. I smiled and said, but I was hoping it wouldn't happen so quickly. So after that I basically left as quickly as I could.

I was planning on driving home and crying, praying, anything w/o talking to anyone on the phone. Did it work that way? Nope, I no more than get in my car and Jerry calls. It probably wouldn't have been so bad, but Jerry and I have been cranky with each other all week, and probably more like the last 2 or 3 weeks off and on. We aren't really sure why before now, but this week I'm taking the responsibility for it. I know that I've been cranky, expected too much from everyone and at times just down right hard to live with. So I wasn't too thrilled to see he was calling because I didn't want to argue with him again. It wasn't that way though, he asked if I was still at my weigh in and I said no, I just got done and I'm back to the car. He asked how it went, and I said I wasn't going to talk with anyone the entire way home, I'm feeling sorry for myself. He asked why and I told him I gained. He said, how did that happen. So I responded "I'm in a plateau baby!" He said, I'm really sorry honey! Then asked about something with supper and let me go.

I then started to cry and yelled out to God that I needed his strength through this because I didn't realize how hard this was going to be. If I'm going to make it for the long haul to get rid of all this weight, I'm going to need to put all of my reliance on HIM!! I definitely can't do it and I know that satan doesn't want me to win, so he's putting all sorts of obstacles in my way. So after crying a bit, I decided it was time to call Christine because best friends always have shoulders to cry on and words of wisdom that no matter what will help. She commiserated with me, but then said you know Missy they are right, you lost that 6 lbs, really quickly. It'll all work out. I know it sucks and nobody wants to hear that they are gaining, but it'll be ok. Somehow her words were much more comforting than the words of the consultant who looking back now doesn't know me, so why should she know how to console me in this time.

Then as I was getting done talking to Christine, I got a call from Patty who is my friend that is also doing Metabolic and introduced me to it. She called Jerry's phone to see how my weigh in went (accidentally, she meant to call mine) and he told her that I gained and I probably needed someone to talk to. What a sweet husband I have!! So Patty gave me a little pep talk after saying how awful it would be to have that kind of result and all seemed to be ok. By the time I got home, I thought I was doing pretty well, but Jerry is sending the kids to me for hugs and love, so I knew that it would all be ok. This is where my family is pretty great!!

The rest of the evening seemed to go well, I was tired, probably more emotionally than anything else. This morning I awoke with the worst sinus headache and body aches. So I'm wondering if my body not feeling well is another reason why it's counter acting to what I'm trying to accomplish with it. I'm doing better right now, but waiting for a phone call from the doctor for hopefully some medicine. Jerry was in yesterday and his sinus infection wasn't clearing up. Jimmy took 2 rounds of antibiotics to clear his sinus infection up and Jessica went in this morning thinking she had one also because she's been home the last 3 days from school. The nurse practitioner thought it was just a virus for her. So hopefully, that's all it is for Jess, and she'll start feeling better.

I'll be going back in on Monday for a weigh in and class. The class is on emotional eating. I thought it was just emotions. I'm trying to decide if I need to attend that class or not. I've not ever been one who when I'm upset has gone to the fridge or the cupboards and grabbed food to console me. I think my problem has always been just taking bigger portion sizes than I needed to and then not excercising. So I'll decide by Monday afternoon if I'm going to take the class or not. Otherwise, I'm going to stick to this change and hopefully drop a few pounds over the weekend. I'm going to win this battle no IF's, AND's or big BUTT's (hee hee).

Day 3

I wasn't going to blog until tomorrow after my weigh in, but felt the need to write tonight. The last two days have been hard. I can tell that there's something going through my mind telling me about the food I can't eat. I know that it's going to be hard, but I didn't realize how hard, until last night when I made a meal that was awful and made myself eat it because I didn't want to waste anything. My emotions tend to be all over the board too. I am just fine and happy one moment, the next I'm cranky and usually with Jerry or the kids because they aren't being sensitive enough in my eyes to the changes I've got to make. Then last but not least (but the most amusing to my closest friends) I will cry for no reason what so ever. The last time being this morning after I had gotten upset with Jerry for not helping me out.

The struggle I've noticed the most is the expectation that my family will help me make my meals and then sit down to have a meal together. We haven't had a meal together yet. Yesterday I was feeling completely abandoned by them because nobody was ready to make or have supper between 6 and 6:30 and I need to eat my supper by 6:30 in order to keep with the time frames that I've been given.

Today I took a class on changes at the weight loss center. It was good, but as I told my friends earlier today, I'm looking forward to the class on Monday because it's emotions. Then maybe I'll understand why I'm reacting in a way that I haven't ever generally reacted before.

Right now we are also in the process of becoming a licensed foster care home. So not only am I making forever changes with my body, but we are getting things ready to add more children to our home. Am I crazy? Maybe! I've found that I'm excited with all the things going on with the foster care process and I can't wait for my weigh in tomorrow. So much so that I think I'm going to weigh in at lunch tomorrow instead of after work.

I truly pray that this passion for this change stays the entire time that I'm working it. I know that there will be mistakes made, but I've been praying that God will help me to keep the focus on making this body a healthier temple for Him. I know that it will only be by His strength that I'll be able to get through this change and become a healthier me. Well, that's all until tomorrow when I can announce how much more has dropped from my body.

Jerry did say tonight that he's sure I've lost more, either that or it's the way I'm carrying myself, he said. I'm glad he is noticing, because I can't tell yet. I figure I'll be able to see/feel it when we get to the 30 lb. mark but it takes 1 lb. at a time to get there.

Day 1

Today I started the last diet I will ever do. Why do you ask? I believe that this is finally the time that I will acheive the weight loss goals I've set for myself. I am going through the Metabolic Research Center in Lincoln. For the first time in my life I'm truly excited to lose all this extra weight that equals 1 more of me. I can't believe that I've allowed myself to gain this weight steadily over the last 15 years of my life. But finally with the support of my wonderful husband and my friends I'm going to kick this battle in the booty!

I went in for my initial consultation on 11/20 and for the following week I did what is called pre-conditioning to get my body ready for the changes that I'm making. On 11/28 I had lost 3 lbs. and then today 12/1 when I weighed in I had lost another 3 1/2 lbs. WOW!! 6 1/2 lbs in a week and a half and I've not even really started the diet. I can't wait until Thursday for my next weigh in.

The one thing that I think may be hard is while I have the emotional and verbal support of my husband and children, they don't tend to want to help as much as I'd like with the food changes that need to be made in the house. So I've got to discipline myself to make my foods while they make seperate meals. That is the one thing I've decided is that I won't be making their meals, as I know that could be a weakness to cheat, and I don't want to cheat at all!! I'm truly excited to see the changes that will be taking place in me and I also am planning on keeping everyone updated on here who wants to follow my journey with me.

The picture that I posted was one Jimmy took of me yesterday, and I'll update my weight loss with photos for everyone to see how well it's going. I have to say I don't really like the picture that I've posted, but that makes it all the more incentive to lose this weight, to look and feel healthier. I keep telling Jerry that he's going to have a smoking hot trophy wife when I'm done. He's not so sure he'll be able to handle that, but I say TOUGH!! LOL!!