Day 111

So this week has been a wonderful week. I went in on Tuesday to weigh in and I FINALLY hit the 40 lb. board. It seems like this was the hardest 10 lbs to get through so far. The choices I was making were not always good ones, but most of the time I wasn't feeling guilty about making them either. I'm getting to the point that as long as for the most part I follow the plan, I need to be allowed little indulgences of something different.

My friend Patty who has attained her goal, and has set another one while she's in the next stage of this plan made a good point the other day when I was beating up on myself thinking I could have had another 10 lbs off this body at this point if I hadn't made some of the choices that I had. She said that we are still losing weight because even when we make a choice that's not on plan, we aren't eating the same way we used too. That was a really good thing to read/hear. It's true, I'm not eating all the yucky foods that are bad for me like I used to. I'm not eating the portion sizes that I used to. So it's ok if I choose to make a different food choice because I want to have that taste.

Last weekend I thought was bad until I really took a step back and looked at it, then it didn't seem so bad to me anymore. We went to Sioux Falls for the weekend to meet up with Danielle and a friend for some shopping. We were also hoping to meet up with Dustin and have supper with him at a minimum, but hopefully get to spend a day hanging out with him. Sadly, that didn't happen, but that's ok. Anyway, I was following the plan and then Saturday night I really wanted the chocolate dessert that Jerry and the kids had ordered. I ate my meal and then Jerry had me hold his for some reason (we ordered Applebee's to go and brought it back to the hotel room because the babies that were with us hadn't napped and we thought it would be wiser to stay in). So I'm holding his meal and I think it would really be nice to taste it. He had chicken fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. So I had a bite or two. Then he decides to eat his dessert and I had a bite of that. Ok not so bad.

The next day before we left to come back home we went to Chili's for lunch. Then I decided there wasn't anything on plan that I wanted, but I really wanted the deep fried chicken breast that was dipped in wing sauce and served with ranch dressing as a sandwich. I did order a salad, didn't realize it had carrots on it. Since carrots aren't on the plan, I try to make sure that I don't have them in the salads at restaurants. I only asked for them to remove the croutons. That didn't happen either so Jimmy and I made a pile of croutons on the table. LOL! Jessica asked about the carrots, and I said there aren't that many so it'll be fine. Jess had ordered a soup and salad that came with unlimited tortilla chips and salsa. So I ate a couple of chips. I had wanted another chocolate dessert. Thankfully after eating the sandwich and a couple of french fries along with the salad and other items, I was full so I didn't order the dessert. Jessica was full too. Jimmy however could eat until the cows come home so he didn't understand why we wouldn't order the dessert.

I went in on Tuesday after all these little "cheats" and weighed in. I wasn't sure what to expect because I've been staying off my scale at home lately and hadn't weighed in for a week. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I'd lost 3 lbs., hit the 40 lb. board and passed it by another 1 lb. I was so excited. I even thought wow, I only have 9 more lbs and I'll have lost 50 lbs. I'm really hoping that I can attain that in the next 2 weeks, before we go to Pierre for Mackennzie's 1st birthday. Why? I'm not really sure except that to me it's a milestone. So I go through the rest of the week doing pretty good. I even made brownies with peanut butter chips in them for a dinner with our home group on Wednesday. I got through the dinner not eating anything that wasn't on the plan. But, low and behold on Thursday as I'm making dinner for everyone, I look at the leftover brownies and think, yummy! I really want one. So Jess moves them and says you can't have those. I said, I'm not eating them and I need to learn to make the choice on my own. So we eat dinner and afterwards, I'm still wanting a brownie. So I had a small one. It tasted so good!! Jerry laughed, but I was thinking it's not going to harm me.

Friday night we decided to go and have dinner at Beacon Hills while the kids were at youth group. We haven't been there in a long time. It was great to see that I could follow the plan with their menu. Then Jerry said, sometimes I don't like your diet. I said why? He wanted mozzerella cheesesticks. So I said order them. I might have one or two, and it's going to be fine. So he ordered them and I had 3. Then I had to move the plate closer to him and farther from me because he had only eaten one since the waitress brought his salad not too long after she brought out the appetizer. We get through that part of supper and I had seen a yummy chocolate dessert come out and I said, I really want some more of that. Jerry's laughing because I usually only want chocolate at a certain time of the month and that was last weekend which was understandable to wanting what he had gotten from Applebee's and planning on the chocolate dessert at Chili's. I had even been eating my chocolate supplements from Metabolic, to try and take the craving away. Jerry figures I didn't get enough chocolate in the system to get rid of it and that's why I was still craving it. So we ordered this ooohhhh, so yummy chocolate cake that had chocolate syrup and caramel drizzled on top of whipped cream and there were toffee chips on it. OMG, I was in heaven eating it!! Jerry laughed and said if he wouldn't have moved the plate and put it under another one, we both would have been fighting over who was going to lick it clean. LOL!! It was that good. Now I'm praying and asking God to help me with this so that I can stick to the plan and not keep eating chocolate every day.

I know it's been God's strength that has gotten me this far and when I forget to pray and praise him for getting me through each day, it seems to be a bigger struggle to keep the focus where it needs to be. He is my strength and whom I need to completely rely on to make this body the temple he intended it to be. To Him I'm grateful for being allowed the finances to be able to make the changes that I've needed to make in order to be a better wife, mom, friend, co-worker, etc....

As far as the rest of my life, it seems to be the same thing, when I'm not focusing on God and asking him to get us through, we struggle even more. So we have been trying to make sure that when going down the path of distruction that we stop that and start praying. It seems to make life so much simpler than continuing down the path of misery.

We are 2 weeks away from Mackennzie's birthday, so hopefully I'll post more before then, but definitely will post after we get back. It will be a great weekend, and hopefully we'll have some good pictures to post too.

Oh yeah and I found a swimming suit last night that is 2 sizes smaller than I used to wear! While it's still a plus size, it's so wonderful to know that I'm getting smaller. It's a little snug, but I think it will fit perfectly after I hit the 50 lb. mark. I also figure it's not going to fit at all and I'll need a smaller one after I hit the 75 lb. mark. But it'll at least get me through a few trips to the pool as we travel to South Dakota to visit the kids.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!!

Day 91

So today is Day 91 in this journey and I haven't posted in 3 weeks. I've had quite the struggles lately with this change and journey and now after getting through the last week without cheating once, I'm quite grateful for the strength my Lord has given to me in order to get through. I found that as I stopped praying and asking God to help me every day with this journey, that it became increasingly harder to get through my days w/o cheating. I was still losing weight, but not as much as I should have.



I've also had struggled with a sinus infection for three weeks, which has made life very tiring. I'm very thankful for stronger antibiotics that finally took the pain away and helped me to feel a little more human by Wednesday this last week. I have still felt the need to sleep more, but I'm sure as soon as I'm done with the medicine, my body should be feeling a little more normal.



The day that I went to the doctor for my sinus infection I was also informed that a dear friend and colleague of mine lost her husband on Valentine's Day. So on top of trying to get better, I've been trying to make sure that work runs as smoothly has possible for her now that she's back to work, and had to be at work the entire week she was out. I wasn't able to get the rest that I needed because we had things that needed to be done, and should attempt to have one of us in the office at all times.



So back to my lifestyle change and the areas I've blown it in since I last blogged. Then the ending will be how great my weigh in and measurements went yesterday at Metabolic. I don't tend to cheat during the week, only on the weekends. So since I last posted we've gone through 3 weekends now and only this weekend, have I not cheated.



Valentine's day weekend, Danielle, Ross, Mackennzie and Katie came to visit. We did some wedding shopping and then after church on Saturday night the adults went to Uncle Ron's in Lincoln to go dancing. I'd done pretty good Saturday, the girls went wedding shopping and I had a coupon for a free appetizer at Red Robin, so we went there for lunch. Well I ordered within the plan except that I really love their chicken tortilla soup, so I ordered a cup of it. I remembered to have them leave the sour cream out but I forgot about the tortilla strips. So that was a little cheat. I did well the rest of the day. For supper I had put together a lasagna that Jerry put in the oven for everyone else and I threw my supper together to eat after church. The downfall was when we went dancing we all decided that we needed to go get "drunk" food. LOL! I think that Katie, Kelli & Mike were the only ones who really had more than 2 drinks, but we all thought going to Perkins would be a great idea. Only problem was they were closed by the time we got over there so we ended up going to Village Inn. I started looking at the menu and told Jerry that I was ordering something. So I did and I enjoyed the skillet and the pancakes that came with them. When I weighed in on Monday, Emily got a good laugh out of me saying that I cheated but I didn't put in on the food sheet, because it was the 4th meal for Saturday. I even did good on Sunday when we had a birthday party for Jimmy by not eating any of the cake or ice cream we had.



So the next week I'm doing all that I can to try and feel better along with getting through work. I didn't even have the energy to think about cheating until Friday night after I weighed in. Then I wanted to go to Taco Inn for supper. Jerry said, that's fine you can get a taco salad and that should fit within the plan. Kudos to my husband for thinking of the plan and how I can stay within it. I laughed and said I have no desire to eat within the plan, I want some yummy, fattening, spicy mexican food. So Jerry said that's fine, let's go get supper. So I got one of their platters that has enchiladas on it and figured I wouldn't eat it all. Well wrong, I ate the entire platter and had to push the chips that came with it away and give it to Jerry so I wouldn't eat anymore. Then I did ok through Saturday until supper. We took Jimmy out for his birthday after church. We went to Red Lobster, which in and of itself, not a bad thing because I could order within the plan. I didn't though. I did have the waitress make the salad the way I could have it, but as far as my main dish, not even close. I ate fried, scampi and alfredo shrimp. I didn't eat the pasta with the alfredo shrimp. So that was a plus. I also had the baked potato with the butter and sour cream. I didn't eat the cheddar bay biscuits though. So while the meal as a whole was probably a flop, there were things that I did to try and make it better. After that meal I came home looked at Jerry and said I need your help!! I have got to stop cheating. So I've given him permission to take things out of my hands, ask me what I'm doing and help me to stay on track until May when my first goal is set for my first set of weight loss.



So this week has been better. I've not cheated, but have also had limited food to eat. I'm starting to get tired of eating certain things and I'm trying to change up the foods I eat a little bit. I also was trying not to buy any of my food supplements until I was pretty much out of everything at home. I did that. So yesterday I went in and it was day 90 and the end of 3 months on the plan. I was really excited for my weigh in and had worn layers so that I could strip down to a t-shirt and shorts for my measurements. I'm excited to say that I've lost 35 lbs. and 24 3/4 inches since I started the plan on December 1st. I was excited to see that the 1/2 inch that I had gained in my ankle last month had gone away along with another 1/2 inch. I didn't pay much attention to where the rest of the inches have melted away from. I'm just happy that I've lost over 10 inches in the last month.



Along with that things in our marriage are also improving. Jerry and I started talking with one of our pastors and then last week we found the book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Danielle and Ross had gone to the conference by the same name and given by Dr. Eggerich and his wife in Pierre at the beginning of February. Danielle shared about how much a lot of the things he said made so much sense. Knowing that I've struggled our entire marriage with the respect issue, I asked Jerry if we could get the book. He agreed. We bought it and have been reading it together every night. We go through one chapter a day and work on the things that we are learning. I'm very grateful for a God who knows exactly what we need to read and when we need to read it. This book takes scripture and applies it so well. There were so many things in the way I talked to Jerry that I didn't think of as being disrespectful to him. This last week and a half has been so wonderful. We haven't had any fights, but have been able to discuss some hard stuff. We didn't meet with the pastor this last week due to scheduling conflicts, but I can say it's also the first time that I didn't feel the need to have to meet with him so that we could discuss issues that were hard to discuss w/o his being a mediator for us.



I highly recommend this book to every married couple. Even if you have a great relationship, I do believe that this book can be an eye opener to every couple. I'll try and post again next weekend. I'm also going to wait until I hit the 40 lb. board to post another picture. I hope everyone has a great week!!