Day 5

I was supposed to blog last night but was too upset to do so. I was so excited to go in and have my weigh in yesterday. No matter how hard this change has been (and I know it's only been 4 days, but it's still been hard), I've followed it religiously. I didn't realize how hard the temptation of cookies that I normally don't even eat when we have them at work for social security day would be. Anyway, I got to Metabolic and went back with a consultant who didn't even give me her name, and she asked how things were going. So I was explaining how it seemed like things were extremely hard. Instead of talking to me and trying to help, I felt like she was talking down to me. Are you measuring your food before you eat it? Are you measuring before or after it's cooked? It wasn't the questions that were being asked, because I can understand asking them, it was the tone that was given in the questions being asked.

Ok, so maybe I'm just a little more sensitive this week as my body is trying to regulate itself. That is the one thing the consultant did say that was helpful. My body is trying to regulate my blood sugars and that can take awhile. She also said, and I totally get that I'm making a lifestyle change that while I've had these eating habits pretty much all my life, it's going to take more than 4 days to change them.

Then came the time, that I was the most excited for. Getting on the scale...... I should have known it wasn't going to be a good thing when she was very quiet and then looked at me sadly and said, you gained 3 lbs. WHAT?? Then the consultant reminds me about the one article I was given on weight loss last Friday about plateaus. I'm in a plateau. She said with the quick drop of the first 6 1/2 lbs., it was bound to happen. I smiled and said, but I was hoping it wouldn't happen so quickly. So after that I basically left as quickly as I could.

I was planning on driving home and crying, praying, anything w/o talking to anyone on the phone. Did it work that way? Nope, I no more than get in my car and Jerry calls. It probably wouldn't have been so bad, but Jerry and I have been cranky with each other all week, and probably more like the last 2 or 3 weeks off and on. We aren't really sure why before now, but this week I'm taking the responsibility for it. I know that I've been cranky, expected too much from everyone and at times just down right hard to live with. So I wasn't too thrilled to see he was calling because I didn't want to argue with him again. It wasn't that way though, he asked if I was still at my weigh in and I said no, I just got done and I'm back to the car. He asked how it went, and I said I wasn't going to talk with anyone the entire way home, I'm feeling sorry for myself. He asked why and I told him I gained. He said, how did that happen. So I responded "I'm in a plateau baby!" He said, I'm really sorry honey! Then asked about something with supper and let me go.

I then started to cry and yelled out to God that I needed his strength through this because I didn't realize how hard this was going to be. If I'm going to make it for the long haul to get rid of all this weight, I'm going to need to put all of my reliance on HIM!! I definitely can't do it and I know that satan doesn't want me to win, so he's putting all sorts of obstacles in my way. So after crying a bit, I decided it was time to call Christine because best friends always have shoulders to cry on and words of wisdom that no matter what will help. She commiserated with me, but then said you know Missy they are right, you lost that 6 lbs, really quickly. It'll all work out. I know it sucks and nobody wants to hear that they are gaining, but it'll be ok. Somehow her words were much more comforting than the words of the consultant who looking back now doesn't know me, so why should she know how to console me in this time.

Then as I was getting done talking to Christine, I got a call from Patty who is my friend that is also doing Metabolic and introduced me to it. She called Jerry's phone to see how my weigh in went (accidentally, she meant to call mine) and he told her that I gained and I probably needed someone to talk to. What a sweet husband I have!! So Patty gave me a little pep talk after saying how awful it would be to have that kind of result and all seemed to be ok. By the time I got home, I thought I was doing pretty well, but Jerry is sending the kids to me for hugs and love, so I knew that it would all be ok. This is where my family is pretty great!!

The rest of the evening seemed to go well, I was tired, probably more emotionally than anything else. This morning I awoke with the worst sinus headache and body aches. So I'm wondering if my body not feeling well is another reason why it's counter acting to what I'm trying to accomplish with it. I'm doing better right now, but waiting for a phone call from the doctor for hopefully some medicine. Jerry was in yesterday and his sinus infection wasn't clearing up. Jimmy took 2 rounds of antibiotics to clear his sinus infection up and Jessica went in this morning thinking she had one also because she's been home the last 3 days from school. The nurse practitioner thought it was just a virus for her. So hopefully, that's all it is for Jess, and she'll start feeling better.

I'll be going back in on Monday for a weigh in and class. The class is on emotional eating. I thought it was just emotions. I'm trying to decide if I need to attend that class or not. I've not ever been one who when I'm upset has gone to the fridge or the cupboards and grabbed food to console me. I think my problem has always been just taking bigger portion sizes than I needed to and then not excercising. So I'll decide by Monday afternoon if I'm going to take the class or not. Otherwise, I'm going to stick to this change and hopefully drop a few pounds over the weekend. I'm going to win this battle no IF's, AND's or big BUTT's (hee hee).